Thursday, April 01, 2010

Canberra Roller Derby League – 31 March Bout 1: A Skate Odyssey

The Surley Griffins take down the Black and Blue Belles by 4 points in the final minutes of Derby Bout 1 2010: A Skate Odyssey, winning 104 to 100.

At first no match for the 2009 season champion Blacks the Griffins spent most of the opening half succumbing to the combined might of cheating and the one-eyed calls of Black’s striped allies, sometimes called referees. Even development in the Griffin tactics that saw them deploy walls of legs and arses in addition to the brutal Dee Nature assaults was not enough to stave off the Space Food Sticks served to them by their opponents.

So the half time score looked like a bloaty space pig sucked out the trailer of Dennis Hopper’s space truck - the Blacks leading the Griffins 63 to 44.

The second half was like the original Matrix to the subsequent two. Fired by a strong first half finish from Sue R. Rat the Griffins pulled out a smashing and fitter second that even the Refs struggled to contain (or maybe it takes them 30 minutes to warm up into actually refereeing?) nor was the DutchAss’s ability to fall over for no reason in-front of her opponents a barrier. The likes of last year’s MVP Bambi von Smash’er, Sue R. Rat and newly recruited veteran Beck Wise stomped the best of the Black’s defences. Even Shaggle Frock, scoring strongly in the first half, was unable to reel in the Roy Batty rampage that was the Griffin jamming during the second half.

In the end the Griffins took bout 1 more comfortably than the 104 to 100 score line indicates and if they can maintain an entire bout of the quality that they reached in this last second half, and if the Refs warm up their calling rather than camera mugging then the Griffins should win this season.

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