Thursday, October 25, 2012

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! Goes to NewActon!

The Score Adder, Me, CJ bowerbird and The Flying V.
Image courtesy of Adam Thomas

THE INVITATION TO THE FINAL OF THE AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY HEAT OF THE AUSTRALIAN POETRY SLAM IS NOW UPON YOU AS BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! GOES TO NEWACTON!

Drawn from competitions held by BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! across the intersections of Civic and the outer north of Canberra’s inner northern streets we bring you fourteen finalists who will take to the stage under the eaves of all the apartments and hotel rooms built around NewActon to do further battle for the second most coveted trophy of poetry in THE CANBERRA!

YES POETRY AND TROPHY AND THE CANBERRA*

That second most coveted trophy being conceptual and being the right to represent the Australian Capital Territory at the Australian Poetry Slam Final in Sydney!

The MOST coveted trophy of poetry of course being one of the broken action figures provided by Impact Comics which we give to First Prize Winners at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at The Phoenix Pub.*

BUT YES THAT IS ALL CORRECT!
THIS IS THE ACT FINAL FOR POETRY!
And when that is all capitalised it can be a bit confusing so here it is with full stops:

THIS IS THE A.C.T. FINAL FOR POETRY!
Bela Farkas
Image courtesy of Adam Thomas
 Still, even without action figures the first prize of going to Sydney to battle it out at their Australian Poetry Slam campfire jamboree for further prizes, such as going to China to the Bookworm Festival and Indonesia to the Ubud Festival and to Sydney again but this next time it being for the Sydney Writers Festival is all pretty sweet. YES PRETTY SWEET! WHEN YOU WIN YOU GET TO GO TO THESE THINGS AS A WINNER, not like the rest of the attendees…

“WHO ARE OUR FINALISTS?”
I HEAR YOU SCREAMING AT SCREENS ACROSS THE TERRITORY AND INTERSTATE AND IN THE FAR FLUNG OLD AND NEW WORLDS!

They in no particular order are:
CMC, Eleanor, Aaron, Isaac, Aiden, Melea, Pete, Azim, Duncan, Fenella, Bernadette, Callum, CJ Bowerbird, John, Gabriella, and Erica… [names may change as contestants correct BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!’s spelling and/or provide a pseudonym and/or stage-name and/or a real name].
Calum and Erica
Image courtesy of Adam Thomas
 For those who can count — yes! there are sixteen names above, BUT TWO DON’T CARE FOR OUR EFFORTS AT VALIDATION THROUGH PUTTING THEM IN FINALS! (or something like that) and have ridden off into the red dawn to seek truth amongst rhyming Cuban paratroopers who wear berets and keffiyehs if that is how you pluralise it or something like that.

So join us at NewActon for poetry, and by us I mean The Master of Conflict who hates poetry but loves poets, Local Yeller Andrew Galan who YELLS, The Score Adder who makes it all work, and our Sacrificial Poet who will be put to the chopper to open proceedings EVEN THOUGH HE DOES NOT RHYME!

All for BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!
All for you!

All with FIRST PRIZES from IMPACT COMICS** and THE GAMES CAPITAL** and the NewActon**** and a BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! BACK SHED!***

Remember those rulie rules that can be found here (http://australianpoetryslam.com/rules) how anyone is going to police one or two recognizable pop culture references is beyond BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! SO JUST FLAP YOUR ARMS AND DON’T MENTION JAR JAR BINKS MORE THAN TWICE, OR DO BUT DO NOT ALSO MENTION JULIUS CAESAR AND A KARDASHIAN AND NAPOLEAN AND BILL AND/OR TED ALL IN THE ONE POEM – "naughty, naughty" we will be forced to say!
Or something like that…
The audience at Smiths Alternative Bookshop
Image courtesy of Adam Thomas
 See you at “BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! Goes to NewActon!”

*[In a voice-over voice] Prize may or may not include some form of trophy.
** [In a voice-over voice] Prize guaranteed to be not broken and still definitely awesome at the same time.
*** [In a voice-over voice] Prize not guaranteed to be not broken and still not definitely awesome at the same time.
**** [In a voice-over voice] Prize may include a flight or bus-ride or old pair of volleys to get you to Sydney.

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